"I'll call." Kelly declared, wanting to get out of the room as soon as she could. Seeing the way Scott, the guy she had been drooling over for as long as she could remember, was looking at her best friends made her ill. She was afraid she would burst into tears if she had to be around him for a minute longer.
"MMMkay." her cousin complied, tossing her the book.
Kelly hastily grabbed it and jumped to her feet. "I'll be in the office." she said quickly, starting for the steps.
"Can I come with you?" Clint asked.
Kelly looked back at him in surprise. "Uh... yeah, okay. I guess so." she stammered, not quite knowing how she should reply.
Clint got up from the green inflatable chair and followed her up the steps. Jeanine turned to Dave and smiled.
"What should we do now?" she asked.
Dave shrugged. "It doesn't look like we need any decorations or anything..." he trailed off, looking around the room once more.
"Where did Bob and Timber go anyway?" Scott asked, suddenly becoming worried.
"I don't know." Jeanine replied. "They had to get cleaned up or something, well, that's what she said."
"Let's play a game." Dave suddenly suggested.
A devious smile spread over Jeanine's face. "Alright, what should we play?" she asked.
* * *
"One... two... three... GO!!!" Bob yelled, and he and Timber went cannon balling into her swimming pool.
They came up gasping for air and laughing. Timber ripped the hat off of his head and put it on her own. "Come on, we have to go get changed before the others start to wonder." she said, swimming towards the shallow end. Bob pulled himself up on the wall, and climbed out.
"You must have a lot of upper-body strength to do that." she commented, walking up the steps.
Water ran down her legs and her top clung tightly to her body. He could tell that she wasn't wearing a bra, not that he minded.
"I'm a drummer, that requires upper body strength." he replied with a laugh.
"Is drumming easy?" she asked, as they made their way up the steps to the deck.
He grinned at her question. "I guess so..." he replied. "You have to have rhythm."
"I've played the piano since I was four, but I've never really had a chance to learn anything else. You have to teach me to play okay?"
"Ummm... okay." he replied, confused by the desperation in her voice.
She studied the floor as she walked. She suddenly looked sad. Bob was just about to say something, when she turned to him and smiled a goofy smile, prompting him to laugh. "I can't wait until the party."
"So you don't mind just having parties every night?" he asked as they climbed the steps.
"Why would I mind? It beats sitting home by yourself and watching dumb-ass movies on Lifetime!" she replied. "I try to hang out with my friends as much as I can because they're my true family. My real family isn't there for me, so I found a new one." she said contently as they entered her room. She went to her dresser and began to dig through. "We can put your clothes in the wash, I'll give you something to wear." she said.
"Okay, thanks." Bob said.
Timber produced a pair of men's boxers from her bottom drawer. "These are my pajamas in case your wondering why I have men's underwear." she explained, then took out a tee-shirt with a huge "Mr. Bubble" logo on the front. "I'll get you towels if you want to wash your hair or something." she added, going to the linen closet just outside her door. Bob watched as she briskly zipped back and forth.
"Okay, thanks." he said.
"Bathroom's over there... I'm going to go take a shower in my parent's room..." a sly grin crept onto her lips. "...unless of course you want to make it a group thing..." she said.
"We just met!" he joked as she handed him a bright red towel.
"I was kidding." she laughed.
"I figured as much." he said.
She wiggled her eyebrows at him with a salacious smile. "I'll see you when I get out." she said, with false insinuation on her voice.
Bob just laughed, shaking his head as he entered the bathroom.
* * *
"This place is amazing... it's like a museum or something." Clint commented, running his hands over the surface of the chrome desk.
He and Kelly were in the office. The room looked like something from the future, with a large chrome desk, a big leather desk-chair, and a silver i-mac computer. There were small chrome pots filled with dirt and grass growing in them as opposed to flowers.
"Yeah, her parents are really into the whole futuristic thing... it looks really cool I think." she said quickly. Her voice sounded strained, as she nervously fingered the binding of Timber's address book.
Clint suddenly looked over at her, causing her breath to catch in her throat. "Are you going to call...?" he asked slowly.
"Oh! Ummm, yes! I am going to call." she squeaked. She was beginning to see that he was very, very cute.
Clint settled down in the plush leather chair and leaned back, watching as she leaned over to the phone. She picked it up and started to dial. He caught a great view of her enormous chest and flushed bright red with embarrassment for looking. His big brown eyes quickly darted away to look at one of the painting that was hanging up. As if on cue, his gaze was yet again directing on the two watermelon sized bosoms that were so perfectly and innocently displayed in front of his face. Look away! he hissed at himself in his mind. He spun around in the chair and looked out the window behind it so his back was to Kelly. He barely took notice to the conversation she was having with someone on the other end of the line.
The doorbell wrang, causing Clint to spin back around.
"Could you go get that Clint?" Kelly asked politely, covering the speaking end of the receiver with her palm. "I don't know where Timber is."
"Uh, okay!" Clint said, more than happy to get away from the temptation that was literally being shoved in front of his face.
He exited the office and found himself in the front hall where the front door was located. Clint went to the door and fumbled with the lock for a moment before finding out that it was unlocked to begin with. Sighing to himself, he flung it open.
On the porch was a guy about his age. He had dark brown hair that was in need of a cut, for it was growing down into his face. His eyes were light brown, standing out against his fare skin. He had a tiny tuft of hair growing beneath his bottom lip. The guy was short, maybe about five feet and four inches at most, but he had a pretty good build though he was skinny. He was wearing a loose fitting pair of khaki pants, held up by a belt, and a tight t-shit that defined the muscles in his chest. The tee-shirt read: "Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here." He looked completely familiar.
"Clint?" the guys asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Ben-Jammin' MC!" Clint cried, his face lighting up. He had called his friend by his nick-name. "Hey man! It's been forever!"
"It really has!" Ben exclaimed, accepting the hug from his childhood friend.
"I don't know where Timber is, but me and Kelly are in the office calling people... well she is... but whatever. The others are in the basement." he explained.
Kelly emerged from the office, the address book tucked under her arm. "Hey Ben." she said, standing there awkwardly.
"You done?" Clint asked.
"No, I just wanted to see who was at the door." she replied, turning and going back into the office and shutting the door behind her.
Clint raised an eyebrow at her peculiar behavior and looked back at Ben who was staring at him intently. "I wonder what her story is." he commented.
Ben broke free out of his daze. "She's a BIG fan." he replied, shaking his head.
* * *
"Okay, I'll go first." Scott said.
"Oh God, Scott's totally brutal when it comes to this game." Dave informed the two girls. The four of them were now sitting in a circle on the rug.
"So is Jeanine." Angela said, smiling at Dave.
He smiled back, captivated. He liked her already and he had only known her for about an hour of so. She was beautiful and sweet and friendly. He felt as if he could just be with her forever and never get tired, she was amazing. He hoped to God he didn't have a cheesy expression on his face, but he knew he probably did...
"Angela, I choose you." Scott said, coyly.
"Um... truth." she said, biting the corner of her ruby red lips.
"Okay... I got a good one." he assured her. "If you could kiss anyone in this room right now... who would it be?" he asked, grinning.
Angela looked up at him, then at Dave. Both had identical apprehensive grins on their faces. She knew she wanted to kiss Scott, despite how much she tried to deny it to herself. But some part of her told her that she absolutely couldn't admit it to him. She'd heard enough about him and his reputation and she knew that he was only toying with her.
"Who's it going to be Angela?" Scott asked, prompting her answer.
Angela chewed on her lip a bit more. "Um... Jeanine." she replied swiftly, giving he best friend a look that explained the entire situation without using words.
Dave and Scott's jaws both dropped in unison. "What?" the both asked.
No wonder she didn't want to kiss me in the kitchen! She’s a fucking dyke!Scott thought angrily to himself.
"Are you... a lesbian?" Dave asked carefully.
"Oh yeah." Jeanine joked, scooting closer to her friend and sliding an arm around her shoulder.
"Then you guys kiss!" Scott suggested as if he had discovered gold.
Angela and Jeanine exchanged a look. "She's not really a lesbian Scott." Jen scolded. "She was kidding, so get your mind out the gutter."
Scott grinned, but he was letting out a sigh of relief inside.
"Why did she say she was then?" Dave asked, addled by the entire conversation.
Jeanine rolled her eyes. "Just forget it." she said.
"Well now I'll just be wondering about it all night, so just tell me." he insisted.
"Dave, it's just a thing girls do when asked a question like that. It's a way of not having to answer." Scott explained, rolling his eyes.
"Oh, I gotcha." Dave said.
"And I believe it's Angie's turn." Jeanine said, wanting to continue on with the game.
"Hey guys! Look who I found!" Clint exclaimed, coming down the steps with Ben behind him.
"Ben!" Dave exclaimed jumping up to exchange a complicated handshake that must have been some sort of nostalgia for the two of them from years back.
"Hey Ben." Scott said from over on the floor.
"Hey." Ben greeted. "What're you guys doing?" he asked, taking a seat with Clint on the floor.
"Nothing." Scott said quickly. "Just talking." he added innocently.
* * *
Bob stepped out of the shower and got dressed in the clothes that Timber have loaned him. He wrapped his hair up turban-style, and exited the bathroom which was attached to Timber's bedroom. When he entered, she had her back to him and she was not wearing a top.
"Sorry." Bob mumbled quickly, turning around.
She glanced over her shoulder. "Oh, it's fine, I'm done." she assured him.
He turned back around slowly to see that she was already clad in a pair of worn in khaki pants and a tight black tank.
"I'll put our stuff in the wash." she said, holding her hands out to take the things in his hand.
"Yeah, okay, thanks... I can only go without underwear for so long..." he joked lightly, handing her the pile.
"Do you wanna borrow a pair?" she asked with a laugh.
"I think I'll have to pass." he laughed as they headed out into the hall. "In this case, size does matter."
"You look pretty funny." she commented as they entered the laundry room at the bottom of the back steps.
"What?" he asked, confused by what she meant.
"The towel... that's how my mom does it." she explained.
Bob laughed. "Mine too. That's where I learned it." he said.
"We've been gone for like an hour. The others are probably wondering where we went." Tim commented, pouring soap into the machine.
Bob laughed. "I forgot all about them." he admitted.
"They probably think we ran away... or we're making babies or something." she giggled at her joke.
"You are so weird!" he laughed. "Everything out fo your mouth is some sort of joke, or pun, or just something that's weird!" he said.
She shrugged. "I get the 'weird' comment alot." she said with a grin. "But I'm actually the normal one." she rationalized. "Everybody else is just uptight."
Bob laughed. "Whatever you say Timber..." he trailed off.
"No! I'm serious." she insisted.
"It's okay, I'm weird too." he said softly. "People usually say I'm kind of... off... spacey..." he explained.
"That's cause you are." She smiled to show she was just being playful.
"I know, but still..."
The two of them headed down the hall to the basement.
* * *
"Hey Ben." Timber greeted, settling back into her kayak. "Did you guys call people yet?" she asked, looking at Jeanine.
"Kelly is right now." Jeanine replied. "Clint went back up to join her."
"Clint?" Timber asked, a grin spreading across her lips.
"Don't get any ideas..." Jen warned.
"Cute outfit Bob... what exactly happened to you guys up there? You were gone for like an hour." Scott asked, relieving the tension with his curiosity.
"Long story." Bob and Timber said at the same time.
"Were ya... makin' babies?" Scott asked, nudging his brother on the arm.
Timber grinned. "I knew they would ask that." she told Bob. "ANYWAYS..."
Kelly's platform sandals could be heard loud and clear on the thin carpeted steps. Everyone looked in her direction as she made it to the bottom of the staircase. "Party's at eight." she announced.
Timber pouted. "It's only a three seventeen!" she exclaimed.
"Well we can all hang out until the party starts..." Jeanine began. "We have to get all your mix tapes out... get out munchables... beverages..."
"The bar is stocked, that's all people'll care about." Timber said flatly.
"We could all get wasted before the party." Ben suggested.
"Not that bad of an idea..." Scott trailed off.
"Let's set up first, then we can worry about how we're going to pass the rest of the time." Timber said, getting up. "There's so much to do, we have to push the furniture off to the walls and stuff, put away all the breakables, close off my parent's, and my bedrooms... put out drinks and food and junk, and like, so much more." she rambled.
"Well, me, Ben, Clint... no Clint's too skinny, and Bob can do the furniture and stuff." Scott suggested.
"Okay, that sounds good."
"I'll lock the bedrooms." Kelly said. "And put away the breakables and stuff."
"We'll do food." Jeanine said, referring to her and Angela.
"There are chips and pop in the big snack bar in the dining room... that's where my mom keeps her stash. But I want to run to the store and get candy... will someone come with me?" Tim asked.
"I will." Dave offered, smiling.
"I have to run home really quick and tell Dad and Sheila where we are." Clint said.
"Okay, we can stop there on our way and you can come to the store with us!" Timber exclaimed. She headed for the steps, motioning Dave and Clint to follow. "It should only take a few minutes to walk down there, it's right on the corner." she said as they started up the steps.
* * *
"Oh my goodness." Angela breathed out after opening the large snack bar in the dining room and finding it overstocked with all sorts of junk food. "I haven't seen so much junk food in a grocery store."
"I wonder how she and her mom stay so skinny will all of this stuff here." Jeanine stated, reaching in and taking out a few bags of chips.
"That's why it's all in here, they don't eat it." Angela reasoned, taking out some cases of soda.
"I guess you have a point." Jeanine said, setting them down on the dining room table then going back in for more.
"Hey guys." Kelly said, entering the dining room. " I locked up the two bedrooms she wanted me to, then I put all breakables in every room upstairs and on this floor away." she ticked off on her fingers. "I think my job is done... so I'll help you guys out. Do you need bowls? I'll go get you some bowls." she said quickly exiting back to the kitchen.
Angela grinned as she opened a case of Coke and started lining the large dining room table with the bottles.
"What are you doing?" Jeanine asked, pausing at her bag-opening.
"Making it look nice..." Angie trailed off, obviously deep in thought.
"Whatcha thinkin' about Angie?" Jen asked, a sly grin playing on her lips.
Angela looked up at her. She looked like a child that was just caught taking cookies from the jar when told not to. "I'm not thinking anything." she insisted.
"Sure..." Jeanine said skeptically.
"Here are bowls." Kelly said, bringing in a pile of large chrome-looking bowls. She set them down the table and started to line them up.
"So Kel," Jen began, pouring chips into the bowls. "What do you think of your idols now that you've met them? I must say, you handled yourself quite well." she added sincerely.
Kelly beamed at her cousin's compliment. "I'm still doing everything I can not to jump up and down screaming!" she squealed loudly, then instantly clapped her hand over her mouth. "Scott is so cute in person!" she whispered.
Angela looked up as if on cue.
"What about Clint?" Jen asked. "You seemed to be warming up to him quite nicely."
"He's sooo cute too!" Kelly gushed. "I always like Scott best, but now I dunno. Clint is so sweet and cute!"
"So is Dave." Jeanine said, grinning. "He is SO hot... it's unfathomable. I want him SO bad."
"Too bad we didn't get a chance to see much of Bob... do you think Timber likes him? They seem to be hanging around each other a hell of a lot." Kelly pointed out.
"You know Tim's not like that." Jen pointed out. "She's one of the guys, not one of the girls checking out one of the guys."
"Hey you guys." Scott said as he walked into the dining room.
Conversation screeched to a halt. Kelly flushed bright red.
"Think I could bum a Coke?" he asked, scanning each one of their faces, wondering why they were all giving him guilty looks.
"They aren't cold..." Angela informed him, holding one out to him.
Scott looked deep into her eyes as if reading her spine, looking into her soul. "That's alright." he said, causing her heart to speed up dramatically. "I'm so thirsty, I could drink anything."
She smiled nervously as he took the can from her hand, his fingers grazing hers. She pulled her hand away quickly, causing the can to fall to the floor. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, bending down to pick it up at the same time as Scott; her head colliding with his nose. "Oh my God, not again!" she cried as he clutched his nose. "Let me get you some ice!" she said quickly, incredibly flustered. He moaned in pain as she led him by the arm to the kitchen.
"What was that all about?" Kelly demanded angrily. "What the FUCK was that all about?!"
Jeanine shrugged. "If you want Scott, you'd better get to him before Angela does." she taunted.
"I cannot believe her! She knows I like him! What a bitch!" Kelly fumed.
"Relax Kelly... I'm sure she's just getting him ice..."
"That better be it or else we're going to have to have a little talk." Kelly spat. "I'm actually going to go see what they're up to..."
* * *
"I feel so terrible... I seem to have this thing for your nose. I'm surprised it's not broken by now." Angela said as she place ice-cubes in a paper towel.
Scott laughed. "Yeah, you most certainly do have a magnetic attraction to my nose." he said.
"That's a good way to put it."
She gently placed the ice on the bridge of his nose, causing him to wince. "I'm so sorry." she said.
"It's alright..." he assured her, dying to ask her to give it another kiss, but deciding against it.
Angela smiled, setting the ice down on the counter. "I don't think it's swollen or anything, though it's a bit red."
"My nose has been under so much stress lately." Scott laughed. "Where are the cups, I'm still thirsty." he stated.
"Up here..." Angela said quickly, reaching up to the cabinet above her head.
"I got it." Scott said, leaning over her and opening the cabinet, taking a glass out. His body was literally pressed up against hers.
She backed up against the counter as far as she could, feeling totally uncomfortable. Scott looked at her as he made his way to the refrigerator. He flashed her his award-winning sexy smile.
Angela's breathing pattern sped up. She watched as Scott filled his cup halfway with water from the spout on the freezer side door. He took a sip and she watched how his lips curled. He was so extremely attractive, it was all overwhelming to her. His blue eyes met hers, but she couldn't bring herself to tear them away.
"Hey guys!" Kelly announced obnoxiously as she entered the room.
Both Scott and Angela turned to look at her. Scott took another sip of his drink.
"Whatcha guys up to?" Kelly asked, just as loud. She studied her best friend's face and could see guilt smeared all over. She knew what was going on.
* * *
"Furniture?"
"Check."
"Drinks?"
"Check."
"Food?"
"Check."
"Candy?"
"Check, check." Clint replied. "We got enough!" he laughed, referring to the mountain of candy bags sitting behind the bar.
"Good." Timber said.
"So are we ready or what?" Jeanine asked, growing irritated with all the planning that was taking place.
"What time is it guys?" Timber asked.
"Five." Bob replied, checking his watch.
"Damn! We still have three hours!" Timber complained.
"Did Dad and Sheila say it was alright?" Scott asked his brothers.
Dave nodded. "Yup. They seemed more than happy to have us out of the house for the evening."
Scott grinned. "That sounds like our parents to me." he laughed.
"What are we going to do for three hours?" Jeanine whined.
Scott got a sly look on his face, glancing at Angela. "Well we did have a pretty heated game of Truth or Dare going on earlier... we could continue that... pick up where we left off."
"Yeah!" Kelly exclaimed.
All eyes went to her. That was the first real thing she had said since the Moffatts had arrived.
She blushed. "I mean, we could play one big game of truth or dare until the party..." she trailed off.
"Let's get drunk." Ben said out of context.
"We'll save that until later Ben." Timber said with a mischievous smile. "But Truth or Dare sounds good for right about now. Let's go outside on the deck, it's such a nice day out." she suggested.
Everyone filed out of the kitchen onto the patio.
"Okay, everyone get in a circle." Timber directed, taking a seat on the wooden floor.
Bob sat to her left, then came Ben, then Dave. Jeanine grabbed a spot beside Dave, and naturally, her cousin plopped down beside her because Scott was on her other side. Angela sat between Scott and Clint, and Clint was on Timber's right side.
"Who goes first?" Jeanine asked.
"I dunno..." Timber replied. "Who wants to go first?" she asked.
"Oh God, I'll go first." Bob said, rolling his eyes at everyone's reluctance.
"No! I want to go first." Clint spoke up.
"Then go ahead." Bob complied.
"No, that's alright." he said with a shrug.
Scott spoke up. "I'll go." he said.
Everyone seemed to be satisfied with that suggestion.
"And I think I'll choose Jeanine." he continued.
Jeanine chewed on the corner of her lip coyly. "Um... dare." she said.
"Okay." Scott grinned. "I dare you to make out with Dave for... one minute."
Dave's eyes went wide in surprise. "When did I come into this?" he asked.
"You don't want to?" Jeanine asked.
"Well... it's not that... I just..." he stammered. "Okay."
Jeanine turned her body and positioned herself so she was comfortable seated beside him and would have good access to his lips. She looked at him for a moment, then glanced at the seven other spectateurs around them.
"Anytime today you guys." Scott said sarcastically.
The inches between Dave and Jen's faces became centimeters, then millimeters, then nothing as their lips met. She was first to open her mouth against him, then he followed suit, allowing her tongue to enter. Their faces gyrated against one another’s as their tongue's played an intense game of tag. Jeanine moved her hands up to the side of his face and his arms went around her waist loosely.
"Whoo hoo!!!" the others wooped and hollered.
"Go Big D!" Bob exclaimed.
"Awww... Times up." Scott announced, pointing to his watch.
Dave and Jeanine pulled apart.
"My turn." Jen said with a big smile on her face.
Dave glanced at Angela. She was listening to something Timber was telling her. He felt a pang of guilt. He really, really liked her and he didn't want anything to come between that. What if she wouldn't give him a chance now that he kissed her best friend?
"Angela, Truth Or Dare?" Jeanine said, breaking Dave's train of thought.
"Um... dare I guess." Angela replied.
Jeanine rubbed her hands together. "You and Scott have to go in the shed for seven minutes." she said, liking her idea so much, she couldn't seem to stop smiling.
Angela turned bright red.
"Go ahead you guys... I'll keep time."
Kelly gave her cousin a look that could kill as Angela got to her feet, Scott following. The two of them trekked across the backyard to the small shed that was near the pool. Jeanine jumped up and followed, leaving the other six teens on the deck.
Angela entered first, flicking on the dim light. Scott followed her in, taking in his surroundings.
"Have fun you guys..." Jen giggled, shutting them inside. She put the latch on the door which locked them in.
* * *
"So why exactly are you afraid of me?" Scott asked, when the two of them were situated on the floor.
Angela looked up at him, surprised. "I'm not." she replied.
Scott studied her for a moment, while she tried to look everywhere except at him. He impulsively reached out and gently tugged on one of her curls, springing it back up. She tried to no prevail to suppress a laugh. He laughed as well.
"You are afraid of me." he said with a grin, scooting closer to her.
"I am not." she insisted.
He scooted even closer. "Are you afraid now?" he asked.
"No."
He reached his hand forward and touched her cheek, his fingertips gently grazing the soft skin as he combed them back into her hair. She studied his face and he studied hers. His eyes went back to hers.
"Are you afraid now?" he asked in a low whisper.
"No..." she replied.
He began to lean closer to her. Her eyes slid shut, as did his. He could feel her breath on his mouth as he neared. His eyes opened for that brief moment and he saw the same angel he had seen the first time he had ever seen her. And it hit him like a ton of bricks...
* * *
"I can't believe you Jeanine!" Kelly screamed. "You can be such a bitch sometimes!"
She suddenly had the attention of everyone remaining in the circle.
"You knew I liked him!" Kelly cried, not caring who heard.
"I'm sorry Kelly... I just did that because he seems to like her and it seemed like the right thing to do." Jeanine said in her own defense.
"Well it wasn't!" Kelly screamed.
Oh great. Clint thought bitterly to himself. Kelly likes Scott. Of course she does. Everyone likes Scott. Why would I even think I would even have a chance with her.
"Scott likes Angela?" Dave asked, not meaning for it to come out loud.
All eyes suddenly darted in his direction.
Great. He likes her. He always gets the girl. Now I know for sure that my chances of being with her are completely nonexistent. Dave thought. God, and I was in love with her too.
"Since when did a bunch of friends hanging out together have to turn into some kind of soap opera?" he asked, trying to save himself. "It's this game. Truth or Dare is an evil gave.... so whose turn is it?"
* * *
Angela's lips were aching for the touch of his. She needed to feel his mouth on hers, she needed the touch to fill her. She was left empty, staring at him as he stared at his hands.
"Angela... I..." he trailed off, not finding the words to say.
It had stabbed through his heart like a burning sword. He had been hit by it like it was a speeding train. He felt terrified, exhilarated, ashamed... all at the same time.
This wasn't supposed to happen to him. He wasn't supposed to feel this way. He couldn't feel this way, but he felt this way since he first saw her. He felt a connection that he had tried to shrug off, but only made it grow. His heart was supposed to pump blood throughout his body, not swell at the thought of her, and melt at the mention of her name. This wasn't supposed to happen to him.
"Times up!" Jeanine called from outside the door as she unlatched it.
Time couldn't be up, it felt as if it had just begun. He glanced at Angela. He wanted her to stay. He knew deep down that he couldn't live without her; but, he also knew she wouldn't just want to stay. She would never let him in. He wanted to love her, to hold her, to be with her for as long as humanly possible, but he knew she would never let him in. His fear of rejection and of getting hurt had caused his shame. He couldn't feel this way. He didn't have the guts to.
* * *