“Okay so are you done thinking up your story? Just tell me what’s going on so I can go home and get back to my life. I don’t need this. I trusted you. I thought you… you know.. cared about me. A lot. I fell for it. Say what you need to and let’s just go our separate ways.” I said as I stopped in the middle of a quiet street, exasperated with the silence, “Who’s the girl?”.

“Liz, we’re not going our separate ways. I promised you I would always fight for you and I meant it. It hurts me that after all the times together, and how much I know that you trust me, that you don’t seem to feel as strongly about me to fight back for me as well, but I guess I understand. I am so sorry I’ve been so busy and I didn’t get to call or write as much as I would have liked. There’s been time zone changes and we’ve been booked solid. I’m an asshole. I get that. The girl is not my idea. It’s a total publicity stunt. I kept saying in all these interviews that I had a girlfriend, but never had any evidence of one to back it up. I shouldn’t have done that. I know you wanted me to lie, but I missed you so much and I’m sick of hiding, so I told the truth; as much of it as I could while I kept my promise to you and kept you safe. We got booked to some events and I was going out without a girlfriend, even though I was admitting to having one, while Ike and Zac took theirs everywhere. People got suspicious. It was not my idea at all. Record execs kept badgering me to call you so you could be seen with me. It would put rumors to rest and put a face with the girlfriend I kept talking about. I always remember our discussion we had right at the start and I wasn’t doing that to you. Girls have been going crazy about all of us having girlfriends and tearing Marit and Marion apart. I can’t let that happen to you. You were right to stay quiet. I was so stressed out with the tour, music, my schedule, and people breathing down my neck. I know you have your life going on, and the last thing I wanted to do was stress you out over this when we were so far apart. This girl’s name is Natalie. She’s a fan from Georgia that wound up backstage with her friend after a show. Some of the roadie guys and record people saw her and brought it up to her. She had no objection, obviously. She practically jumped at the chance and wouldn’t drop it. Somehow, it was alright with everyone but me, and she got to ‘play the part’. She told me that night we were out when we were in the van that she will do anything to ‘land a Hanson’. They found one of the most psychotic girls possible, and put her with me. She’s horrible. She tries to get to me all the time, so any time I’m alone, I sneak to my room and have to just sit around by myself. I can’t call you because it’s some ungodly hour usually, and I can’t hang out with any of the people I’m with, because now she follows us around. We told her she is only around for events, but her father somehow funds all of her nagging, so she flies everywhere she can and never leaves us alone. She gets yelled at for calling our fans bitches, mocking them openly, and doing all sorts of things. That’s what’s going on. We got to New York and as soon as I could, I got here to tell you, I had to do it in person. I need you to see how sincere I am about this. It’s all a huge misunderstanding. It’s a stunt. Sometimes I might have to be seen with her, but it’s only temporary. I avoid her at all other costs. I promise you that. I hate her. I’m dying without you. Unless I’m on stage or in an interview, I’m alone, literally. Ike and Zac have girlfriends now and I’m away from you and am forced to hide from this girl. This is all such a mess. Please please please believe me. I’m telling you the truth. Let’s work on this. I can’t apologize enough. I would never lie to you or hurt you. That isn’t my intention. Ask anyone that’s traveling with us if you don’t believe me.” He was on his knees again, begging with all his might. I was still upset and hurt, but for some unknown reason in my gut, I believed him, or at least I wanted to. I knew we didn’t ever have a normal relationship because of whom he was, and I never experienced this, so I decided I just had to suck it up, talk to him, and take it in stride.

“I guess. I’m still mad that you suck at calling your girlfriend you speak so highly of. I‘m really angry with you, I hope you know that.” I said as he stood up and took my face in his hands.

“I’m extremely sorry. I’ll be better. I swear I will. Forgiven?”

“For now, but you really owe me Taylor…” I said looking into his eyes for the first time so he knew I was not joking around. He smiled and ran his fingers through my hair as I closed my eyes and waited for him to kiss me. He wasted no time in doing so, and all the butterfly feelings I had for him came racing back before I was even ready to handle them. I could tell by the look in his eyes when we spoke that he was being honest with me, but I was still wary of the situation at hand. Our kiss got deeper and grew more intense as I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. I was losing my breath when he pulled away slowly.

“Forgiven?” he asked me again.

“I suppose so” I shrugged, my face still in his hands.

“I missed you so much babe” He said as he brought me to him again.

“Yeah, I missed you too. Don’t go away anymore. Stay with me.” I said when we separated our lips a second time.

“I can’t stay too long, but you’re welcome to come to the city with me while we’re here. Please?” it didn’t take much convincing on his part. We kissed a few more times and then decided to go pack a bag for myself to take to New York with me. We waited until it was a bit later before we had one of my parents drop us off at the train station. Fans were camped outside their hotel and we had to wait for the crowds to dwindle down. Thank God Taylor showed up on a Friday. I was able to spend the whole weekend there with the guys if I chose to. This would be the first time Taylor and I would be staying alone in our own room away from everyone too. I was nervous thinking about that just because the only part of our physical relationship we were holding off on was sex, and now that could be a possibility, but I knew he would stop if I decided I wasn’t ready. We had a weekend bag packed in no time and spent the evening with my family and just hanging out at my house catching up on our year before we snuck off to the city to join everyone else. I had never been with the guys while they were working. This was going to be a different experience for me and for us as a couple, and I was excited regardless. I just hoped we were able to keep our secret. At about 10pm, my dad drove us into New Brunswick about five minutes from our house and saw us off on the next train. They said we could come get a break any time we needed it, but other than that, be responsible and enjoy the weekend.

We got onto the train and picked out seats in a really quiet car. Lots of people were coming home from the city at this hour, not going into it. The car we found, we practically had to ourselves aside from a few stray singles at the opposite end. Taylor showed me how to be incognito as we laid low and kept quiet. He pulled out his trusty shades and a hat, while I threw the hood on from my favorite sweat jacket. We enjoyed every minute because it required a lot of whispering and staying close together. As we rode along and made stops, a few more stragglers got on, and a few looked our way. It made me uneasy.

“You know how we can be completely un-noticed?” Taylor whispered so close to me that the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

“No.. Do we have blankets to throw over our heads or something?” I whispered back.

“Not exactly, I was thinking of doing more kissing.” His breath in on my neck was driving me insane. I exhaled slowly.

“I’m pretty sure that would cause more attention…” I replied in a shaky voice as I lifted my eyes to his. Trapped.

“Not if I’m on top of you and no one is seeing our faces” he whispered back and then lightly pecked at my ear and my cheek. I groaned quietly.

“You’re not really playing fair here..” I tried fighting my urges.

“I think I’m playing extremely fair. Plus you said I really owe you, and I agree. I’ve been a shitty boyfriend. I have to make it up to you, and do you have any idea how long I’ve been kept apart from you? I can’t take the distance anymore” he kept working as he moved us more into the corner against the window of the train and had me pinned under him.

“We’re going to get kicked off the train you idiot. Stop..please? Just wait a little bit longer” I put my hands on his chest and tried pushing him off.

“We’re almost there already, plus there’s no cameras in the cars or anything..” he silenced me by kissing me. It got really hot really quick as our bodies pressed together and his hands roamed my body. My head was swimming. It hadn’t actually registered with me that he was here and that we were together again. The circumstances weren’t ideal. We had dealt with our first major smudge in our relationship, which made me sad, and on top of that, I knew he couldn’t stay. He had to finish up his tour and I had to finish up my sophomore year. I had to make this weekend really count.

“I can’t wait to get to your room..” I moaned as he kissed my neck.

“Me neither” he replied in between kisses and soft licks.

“ I need you…” I admitted as we stopped to catch our breath and we looked into each other’s eyes.

“Are you sure?” he asked, wide eyed.

“Yes..” I searched his face as he searched mine.

“ I’m not holding you to this. If you change your mind, we’re stop” his eyes were such a deep blue. I had never seen them so dark before. I kept thinking how lucky I was to have a man like this in my life. I was sure he would die for me if the opportunity presented itself. That was hard to find. I hoped to marry him someday. My heart was ready to burst. I forced myself to ignore everything horrible we just encountered, and only focus on the boy laying on top of me in a train car.

“Okay. Thank you Taylor..” I said as I touched the side of his face. He relaxed under my touch and closed his eyes. I leaned up and kissed him again, and after a few minutes, we were at our stop. We pulled apart, he took hold of my hand and we went through Penn Station and out into the city. The weekend was ours.

Chapter 10 | Guestbook