Taylor and I rested awhile and then spent the rest of Monday being completely isolated, ravaging each other senseless, watching television, and just un-winding and connecting before the wedding. The past week was filled with so many events, and so much craziness that we hadn’t gotten the chance to just relax and be us without all the extra attention. We also knew that almost immediately after we recited our vows, we’d have to return to reality without the luxury of a honeymoon; although by choice. I would be finishing out my last month and a half of senior year with him at my side before I joined them on the road for all their Underneath promotion. The thought of that made me sick to my stomach. Up until Taylor’s whole wedding stunt with Natalie almost a year prior, the guys had fallen off the radar. Aside from random work postings mostly made by Zac on their personal site, their lives were completely hidden from the fans. I knew he would keep me safe and hidden away from everyone, but I had to admit, the fans were chomping at the bit to hear about what the guys have been up to all this time, and they were on the lookout for a wife tagging along. Some fans were still not happy about the fact that the favorite of the trio was off the market, so what would they do if they found out the truth? Taylor and I weren’t going to be allowed to retreat to the safety of my room in my small town, so I had to wonder if I would be found out, or if he would truly be able to keep me protected. It had me a bit worried as we spent some time lounging around, spending our last day of un-married life talking about our future.
Once the sun had set that evening, there was a knock at our door. Luckily, Taylor and I were actually dressed—in comfy clothes, spread out in the living room, my head in his lap while he leaned his back against a nearby chair and ran his fingers through my hair, almost putting me to sleep. We were sharing a bowl of popcorn he made while we watched a movie in comfortable silence; my eyelids feeling quite heavy. I knew who the knocking was and what it meant. My stomach sank as I turned to lie on my back and looked up at him with a sad glance.
“I don’t want you to go…” I mumbled, feeling really upset knowing that he had to leave me. I despised being apart. He returned my sentiments, maybe looking even sadder as the knocking grew more persistent. He made a pathetic attempt at a half smile as he brushed the backs of his fingers across my cheek.
“I know, I don’t want to leave you either, but, I do want—no, NEED to marry you tomorrow so we might as well get this over with” he sighed and we both rose from our spots on the floor and he moved to answer the door in front of me. It all happened so fast after that. He had pulled the door open only to be grabbed harshly by his brothers and carried away in protest as I followed them all the way out to the small lot of our building. I could only watch helplessly while he struggled against them as they trotted off triumphantly. I heard a distant ‘I love you’ hit the night air, but was too miserable and slightly shocked watching his retreating figure to even respond as I made my way back into the apartment…alone.
I couldn’t help how overwhelmed I was feeling about, well, everything. I didn’t care about a stupid tradition like being separated for the night. I didn’t even understand it. I just knew I needed him here with me. He calmed my nerves, and without him, I needed to try to calm them the only other way I knew how lately; I cried.
I cried for awhile. I had flopped down on our bed and pulled his pillow up against my body, inhaling deeply, letting his scent take over every fiber and nerve ending of my brain. I knew he was just up the road with the guys in the neighboring condo, but I didn’t care. He might as well have been a thousand miles away. Maybe I was being a bit silly, but all I knew as that we were hours away from getting married, and he’s the only one I wanted to spend my time with.
Just as the tears were subsiding, and I let my eyes fall closed, there was another knock at the door. I knew it was all the girls coming to keep me company, and I just had to pray that they wanted to keep the plans light because I didn’t even want to move away from Taylor’s pillow let alone party all night.
Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself off of the bed and made my way over to the entry way. Once I had the door open wide enough, I was greeted by Diana, my mother, my sister, Jess, Avery, and Zoe. Avery enveloped me into a hug first and placed a fun veil on me that read “bride” in hot pink glitter across the crown of my head as the rest of the girls passed through the door giving me more hugs and carrying bags of pajamas, games, snacks, movies, blankets, pillows, and dinner. We were completely set for an estrogen filled night before I was passed off to my new life with Taylor.
Both moms started in on preparing our snacks for the night while the girls set their overnight bags down and changed into their pajamas in mine and Taylor’s bedroom. Luckily, I was already comfortable and instead, used the few extra minutes to sulk over not being able to say goodnight to my groom.
Just as he came flooding back to the forefront of my mind, my phone went off on the coffee table and I saw his name flash across the caller ID. My heart pounded and I smiled instantly as I darted off the living room sofa to answer it.
“Tay! I miss you!” I shrieked into the receiver.
“Baby, I miss you too. My stupid brothers wouldn’t let me—“ and he was cut off as Jess snatched the phone out of my hand without me even seeing her sneak up on me.
“Taylor, you’re not following the rules! No contact with the bride before the wedding, it’s bad luck! You just had all day with her, give it a rest!” she reprimanded as Ali, Ave, and Zoe gathered around her and joined in on shouting at him for even trying to contact me in any way. Of course they told him they still loved him, but warned him no more trying to see or talk to me until tomorrow at the ceremony and they were in charge of keeping me entertained until then.
I sighed as I watched Jess flip my phone shut and kept it in her possession, hidden away from me, so I had no way of trying to talk to him or anyone else for the rest of the night. I felt completely defeated and pathetic, needing someone so much and knowing I didn’t want to or couldn’t seem to be apart from him for one evening. At the same time, I appreciated all the work our families had put into the wedding for us in such a short time span, that I really felt I needed to suck it up and honor this one tradition they wanted us to uphold without offering too many complaints, no matter how much it was killing me to not be with him.
Once my phone was taken away, and the girls were all ready for bed, I helped them gather the pile of sleeping bags and blankets they had brought, plus a few that we had as well to make a rather large campout on the living room floor where Taylor and I rested earlier. Our mothers were just finishing up our goodies in the kitchenette and we all nestled in for the rest of the night.
The seven of us played a couple rounds of Uno (which got extremely competitive…who knew?), ate so many chips, candy, finger sandwiches, cake, and other assorted treats that I was sure I wouldn’t be fitting into my dress. After our card tournament, with our stomachs full of food, we all wound up snuggled in a pile on our blankets with some wedding themed movies, had some good conversation, and discussed how tomorrow would go. I rested my head on my mother’s lap while she stroked my hair, again, like Taylor had a few hours prior, and I half paid attention to whatever movie the younger girls had picked out. I was suddenly exhausted again and felt myself drifting off when I got whacked in the face with a pillow.
“You aren’t allowed to sleep yet!” my sister demanded with an evil smirk on her face. I was beginning to feel like all my night was turning into was a collection of different scoldings instead of being worshipped like I heard brides usually are. To think, I could’ve still been in bed with Taylor, taking part in much more intimate activities.
Speaking of the love of my life, he had quickly become the topic of conversation. I became more alert as his sisters and mother told adorable childhood stories about him (to which he would be thoroughly embarrassed if he knew what was being said) and I shared some of my own tales of our adventures over the years as well. The girls all gushed over our whirlwind romance and my cheeks flushed a deep shade of red when both moms brought up the topic of grandchildren. They couldn’t wait for us to have babies one day. I, however, was mortified that they had the thought crossing their minds. I knew they weren’t speaking of it in a sexual way, but that’s where my brain automatically went to. I was nervous enough as it was, knowing both of our families were going to witness us kiss tomorrow, let alone knowing what we had to do when the time came to give them grandchildren. Hopefully, they weren’t aware of the fact we were already well on our way with practicing the baby-making process. I knew it would take getting used to when the day came that I would be carrying a little beach-ball, and symbol of what we did together under my shirt around my family. Like I’ve said a million times before, I’m really weird.
The festivities carried on for several more hours. More food was eaten, a stack of movies all about eternal love and beautiful weddings were watched, and more discussion about mine and Taylor’s lives were brought up as the night passed. My nerves were building as the time ticked by and I was glad that my family had done an amazing job of distracting me for the most part all night, even though Taylor never left my mind.
Eventually though, everyone started falling asleep and I had less people to occupy me and keep my mind busy. I was too nervous to sleep and wished I knew where Jess had put my phone so I could call or text Taylor, even just to say good night. I needed him to calm me down but was having no such luck. I debated walking up to the condo the guys were staying in for the night and taking my chances to see him, but knew I’d be turned away without getting so much as a glance at him. Once everyone was out cold, I wandered into our bedroom and curled up to his pillow again. I was hours away from getting married and I was beginning to feel incredibly sick. My mind was racing and my stomach was fluttering nervously as I let Taylor take over my thoughts and let his scent comfort me until I was too tired to stay awake any longer.
I awoke in the middle of the night; according to the clock, it was just past 4am. Instinctively, I stretched out, reaching for Taylor’s warmth, but all I touched was cold, empty sheets. I yawned and sighed heavily, my heart sinking. Why was the night going so slow? I rolled to my back and stared at the ceiling for awhile. I was wide awake. I knew I’d have trouble falling back to sleep and instead, wrapped myself in a light blanket and grabbed my sandals. I moved through the apartment and slipped out the door quietly before putting my flip flops on and going outside. Across the way from our condo was a small, private pool and I just felt the need to look at the water, the stars, and just be alone with my thoughts before my wedding was upon me.
I unlatched and then re-latched the gate behind me, trying not to disturb the serenity outside. When it was secure again, I wrapped the blanket just a bit tighter around my body and slipped my shoes off one more time. I left them by the entrance and moved towards the stairs at the shallow end of the pool. That’s when I noticed Taylor down at the opposite end of the area. He was looking down, watching his feet swirl aimlessly in the water and my heart stopped as I took in the site of him. I couldn’t find it in myself to move or to speak as I savored the view to myself a second more. I was waiting to lose control and run to him.
Just as I opened my mouth to speak his name, he looked up and jumped from his spot down by the diving board. I strolled the short distance to him before I collided with his running figure and he swept me into his arms, picking me up off the ground and spinning me in a circle.
“Hey Tay” I mumbled into his hair. I inhaled his locks and my heart leapt into my throat when I saw the moon reflect off of his perfect profile. How was this man real? How was he mine? I couldn’t even think as he set me down on my feet and kept me in his arms, bending to capture my lips between his in the most heated kiss I could have ever imagined to date.
“God, I missed you” he whimpered pathetically as his thumbs caressed my cheeks and took my lips again. I could only sigh against his warmth as his tongue met mine, performing a slow dance together.
We kissed for another minute before he took my hand and silently led me to the side of the pool where he sat down and pat the cement next to him. I plopped down at his left side and we shared my blanket as we stuck our toes in the chilly water. I leaned my head on his shoulder and sighed, finally content for the first time since he was literally carried off from me earlier that night.
“Couldn’t sleep?” I asked quietly, finally breaking the silence. I felt him turn his head and place a soft kiss in my hair.
“No, not at all” he sighed sadly before he wrapped his arm tightly around my shoulder, slowly grazing his fingertips up and down my skin.
“What’s wrong Tay?” this was rare, him being the uneasy one with me doing the comforting. He was always the one to take care of me. I knew something seemed off, and I couldn’t help but worry, was he getting cold feet, or re-thinking everything? I put my hand on his thigh and turned to look at him, encouraging him to confide in me, hoping that it wasn’t anything too terrible he needed to tell me.
“Nothing…I…I just hated being taken from you like that. I knew I had to go at some point, but I was ambushed. It made me realize that I don’t know how to be without you since I first heard your voice, and I don’t want to ever be without you. Being taken off like that killed my entire night. I didn’t get to say good night, give you a kiss, or just see you for an extra minute. I know the night before the wedding and being separated is some old tradition, and I hope I’m not taking a chance and pressing our luck by breaking it right now, but it got me thinking about the future and having to go away alone or something on the road for chunks of time and not knowing how to function by myself. It just destroyed me. I literally can’t live without you. I love the feeling so much, yet hate it at the same time.” I never even answered him because I knew exactly how he was feeling. Loving him never made me feel so alive, yet ache so badly in one, single moment. I moved in closer and turned to place a soft kiss on his cheek before slipping my arm around his waist and burying myself into his side.
We sat in silence for awhile, watching our feet through the rippled surface of the water, giving each other a glance or two, and letting the quiet comfort us instead of using our words. We didn’t need to. I rubbed small circles over his lower back and listened to him breathe while he kept his arm tight around my shoulder, holding the blanket secure around us. I could’ve sat like this forever with just the two of us, a silent night, and a starry sky.
As the rising sun started to change the color of the approaching morning, we decided to get back to what was left of our parties before we got caught together. Reluctantly, we stood as one and I broke away from him to go pick up my shoes. He did the same and caught up to me as we walked over the few extra steps to the gate. When the pool was behind us, he took a firm hold of my hand and smiled down at me as he walked me back across the street to our condo. We made it to the main door of the building and he turned to me as we stepped onto the porch and I moved to grab the door.
“Thanks for spending the night with me. It was perfect, and for some reason, I knew you would try to get away for a bit. I’m glad I was right and I feel a lot better now” he whispered as he locked eyes with mine, staring straight through me and into my soul. I felt like our connection was growing stronger by the second.
“Don’t be silly Tay, I didn’t even say anything to help you, I—“ and he cut me off with a sweet kiss before he held my face in his hands.
“I didn’t need you to say anything, just being by my side and feeling your warmth beside me made it all better. I know you feel the same way I do when we’re apart, and I know we’ll get through everything together, no matter how hard it may get. I just got so sad missing you and thinking about how it would be to miss you for huge chunks at a time like when we used to visit, before I practically moved in un-announced on your birthday” he smirked and kissed my forehead.
“Well, in that case, I’m glad I could help. I was miserable without you too. Jess still has my phone and I don’t know when I’m getting it back. I looked for it when I could, but your sister is really good. I can’t find it” I sighed while he let out a small laugh.
“I love you. Get some sleep my darling. I’ll see you soon at the altar okay?” he questioned while he searched my features for any form of last minute uncertainty. I had none. I smiled as big as I could at him and nodded slowly twice.
“I’ll see you soon. I can’t wait. Thanks for hanging with me tonight too. I’m glad I ran into you” I joked, “I love you more Tay…” I could feel my eyes welling up, and he moved to place his lips over mine so softly that I had to open my eyes briefly to make sure he was actually kissing me. He deepened the kiss and held me tighter and my eyes fluttered closed again, instead concentrating on how he felt, and how perfect this moment was. When we parted, I wished I could’ve screamed for so many reasons.
“Sleep well, next time I see you, you’ll be my wife, finally…” he choked the words out, full of emotion, and I hugged him tighter for just a second longer.
“You sleep well too, soon-to-be husband. I’ll see you in a just few more hours” I whispered in return. He bent to peck my lips one more time before he turned to go. I watched him walked down the few steps of our building, across the small lot, and up the road to the condo next door. Just a few more hours…
Chapter 63 | Guestbook